tainting the rose
by Claire Lanser
Summary: kuroganes side of 'wishing for you', kurogane debates on fai, and his home KUROFAI


i always thought that i knew what strength was,

but Tomoyo said otherwise and i know she's usually right,

so...what is true strength? what does Tomoyo want me to know?

i think, i think what she meant was the ability, the power

to love someone and let it show, the power to protect someone,

i remember her saying 'what use is power without someone to use it for?'

i would always say i used my power for her,

but she would shake her head, saying

'no, kurogane, soemone to protect, not from others but from yourself'

she would never explain what she meant, she never gave explanations

not usually at least but now i think i know what she meant,

you annoy me and i want to hurt you, because i feel emmbaressed

i don't understand why, at first it WAS out of anger that i yelled,

and slowly that sub-sided and it didn't bother me,

i tell you to stop but if you did i think i would...

cry

yell?

i don't know i would feel like crying more than anything,

you wouldn't believe me if i told you,

but i love the nicknames and i love the teasing,

it mey be fake but when you say silly things like

'kuro-puu loves me!' when i'm being nicer to you than usuall

i may deny it but inside i do, i do love you,

and i want you to love me to

but after what i did to you,

making you what you are,

i know how much you hate it, how you hate me for making you live,

but i was selfish and couldn't let go of you,

i didnt't know saving you would steal my chance at loving you

i force you to drink of my blood to live

you hate it

i force you stay near me

you hate it

i forced you to live, sacrificing my arm and sword for you,

i'm sure, you hate it too

i'm sure you hate everything about me,

but, why haven't you done what i know we've both thought of so many times,

why haven't you killed me yet?

you slowly grew less reluctant to feeding

but i know in your cold heart, you can't forgive me even if i begged,

even if i confessed my feelings to you

and now that i'm home i only have a little time left to tell you,

only a little time to hold you,

you look at me 'good morning...' you whisper

i don't think you realized it, the way you whispered it

but i did, 'you okay? i qeustioned by now, you'd be smiling

laughing and teasing me,

maybe what i did hit a nerve in you

you blinked, and your pale face broke into a bright smile,

a fake one

i scowl at you

'idiot, your mask is cracking...'

your face wavers, i grab you roughly by the wrist,

tugging you tightly into my arms

you lay there and i hear you sigh gently in content

'don't lie to me fool i can see right through you'

i keep wondering if now is good,

'Fai?' i can't remember how many times i acctually said your name,

my breath hitches when i do

this is the first time your name has actually graced my lips

'hai, kuro-pon?' i don't think you realized but i shivered at the way

you breathed my name

'what...now?' a thick silence spreads across us

you look up first and i see something in your eyes a new light...

i wish i could find my strength the strength to tell you how much i need you...

'can i tell you something' you ask, your trying to hide the tentivness, but i see right through

'me to' the words are out before i can think about it

'you first' you say

_i love you_

we both say, and though i'm no good with words,

and though i know you know it

i know that you know me well enough to know

i never lie

and i would never lie to you

and i could never

i grab you pulling you as close as possible,

but it's still not close enough...

i know i can make it work,

make...us work

i hear a girl giggling,

and i'm fairly sure you missed it

i sigh.

i'll make sure to a 'NDOPA'

you lean in closer to me, laying your lips sweetly on mine,

and i can't help but think of outo

_'toki no mukuo kaze no machi he, ne, tsurette itte, shiroii hanna no yume, kanaette'_

and i think of how your my sweet, tainted flower,

my sweet tainted rose

(F.Y.I- NDOPA, stands for No Displays Of Public Affection)


End file.
